NOW & THEN...

Well let me wirte a bit about the naming of the URL... its a combination of two of the names I have used in my CS Profile... When I first started CS it was a treat... Having 30 guys on the same map the eve of the dreaded exams is a treat that cannot be forgotten...

One of the great things about self learning is that it is usually unpredictable... sure it might not be as technically correct but it sure brings the element of surprise... When I first started playing TT I had a friend as a coach... after 32 straight defeats I got my first victory... He stopped playing shortly afterwards... But after 5 years later it sure is great to realize that everythime I play a backhand the opponent is guessing... cuz the technically correct opponent has no idea of how under the most unbelievable of circumstances the ball comes flying back from impossible positions... Well its something like Physics, or for that matter something like all of our worlds...

I am amongst those who feel the world is different for all of us... A 5000 Angstrom of wavelenght but causing a sensory perception of green is extraordinary... So I believe that our understanding of the world the environment and our concepts are entirely ours... When a teacher teaches, he states facts about the world from his own perception... However exactly what it is in the mind of the student depends in the imagination of the student himself...

Its like the books that have been made into movies... The Harry Potter novel was something in our imagination, but to see the magic on the screen was something entirely different... Da Vinci Code similarly failed all expectations as it was not the way we had imagined it to be...

It raises the difficult question... The matrix scenario... Do we all see things around us in the same way... I know I call a certain colour green and the others do it too by association, but seriously is there any way to know whether you see a fainter green than I do or maybe see my 'red' instead...

Really troubling I must say... However its this strong belief in the general unification in which we all believe... We would rather like to hope that people see the same things as ourselves, just as the Physicists hope that the Grand Unified Theory will encompass all that has been ever discovered...

I guess religion is also intended for the same puropose... It simply provides a tool for all of us to see each other as friends rather than strangers... These days though it has become a tool for political violence...

Coming to the life and death yet again, it is seriously difficult to comprehend that there is no consciousness after death.. The pattern of the atoms in harmony that we know of life is broken... All the atoms are then left to fend for themselves, void of the unity that was me...

Of ghosts and angels, the stories are just a mechanism to provide hope I believe... Hope that all is not futile, fear that immoral acts will bear punishment... Really takes an effort to carry on with the daily soceital living inspite of seeing the void future... Thats when the beauty appeals... As Feynman said that the beauty that we have been lucky enough to percieve from such a high mental framework is all that you need to realize that life has given much more than death can probably take away...

RANTING WORKS...

Now...

As is darn evident from the title I just want to rant a bit... boredom is but the precursor to forced creativity... Also frustration and lost love too do work as excellent muses to apalling creativity... As they say in the vedas and in the words of the poets, from all destruction doth rise creation itself...

As you can definitely make out I am just a confused soul... God ( I am an agnostic... still...) wielded the 'Confundo' charm whilst I was being created... Unlike the children from 1947 midnight, I do not have any special powers I must confess... Believed I had though as a child much as we cling on to our faith of the super-natural...

A bit about myself... If anyone but the forced few are still willing to find out... I ( I quite like using the Capital I), though I would love to convince myself that I am no egoist..., am a confused, qualified (if degrees are anything to go by) Physicist, Half an MBA, a singer and a violinist... However as is very apparent I am perpetually confused...

Confusion is but the key to a carefree existence... take life or rather the events that make our lives as they choose to come... lucky for me I am not an outcast to society as of yet... which basically means good enough institutes (not mental, as much as u would like to believe) have always accepted me...

Even now I am confused whether the corporate life is for me, and if it is what in it is???

I guess the only thing I am sure of in life is the halo of the life I envy... I want to be successful (again confusion as to its definition, but basically I have accepted it to be when people like saying that I have done well), and have a nice family... People have been my truest faith in life... Whether we just remain as isolated atoms without the pattern of life after we die (am scared of death, of imagining the void, like the 'seventh seal' where Ingmar Bergman himself faced the notion of death face to face) , or not we as humans are lucky enough to 'feel' the beauty of relationships... Yes am quite sensitive as a person... and often embaress myself with outpourings...

Truly writing does help solve boredom...atleast till I do not get bored of it... :)

I guess as an inaugaration post I have done even my confused state of being proud... Will follow soon with a second post...

The next line is a marketing gimmick...

READ TO LEARN THE PHILOSOPHIES OF LIFE... STATE OF BEING