Ratiya… Khari Khari
Ratiya… Andhiyari
Raat Hamari to chand ki saheli he
Kitne dino ke baad…
Listening to this song brought back so many fresh memories of a distant past… cycling around the dark woods of IIT-K trying to figure out my place… thinking of the one person with a stone in my heart… Bliss
The hurt made me feel alive… the darkness gave me freedom… I was finally one with my surroundings…
Cycling back from the M-Club at 3 am after an extended musical intercourse… pleasure… music in my heart… in my soul… often cycling with my eyes closed and hands behind my back testing my limits… it didn’t matter… I was living in the present…
Thinking about possibilities… thinking about responsibility… the adrenalin rush from thinking about possibilities… the hurt from being constrained… the pleasure of remembering her face… clarity in confusion…
Being selfish… being me… me and the woods… down the winding road… realizing solitude… finding solace in the deep dark woods… riding a little further than the light could carry… Being an Egoist… Being an Individual… the only time when one does not need patronizing… freedom in solitude…
A natural high… speeding down the road… turning blind… the adrenalin rush… the urge to stay out longer… the urge to be free… not to be tied down by those 4 walls built as a barrier against freedom…
The suicides… ability to contort reality in a way that makes even life lose its value… the torture… the insecurity… the fear… the inability to achieve value in one’s own eyes…
The realization… the happiness… the feeling of being alive… the rush… the breaking of the trance… the pleasure of knowing… the Ego…
Guilt… the weight… the failure… the thought of betrayal… the face…
The comfort… the tears… the tears brushing against the wound… the music… being alive
The end of the journey… Losing myself once more to the world… But the knowledge of being alive…
